Jessica Fern is the author of Polysecure. Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? In her book, Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide.

Jessica grew up in a neighborhood well acquainted with violence and a family considerably impacted by divorce, multi-generational trauma, substance abuse and interpersonal discord. The effects of these experiences were challenging for many years, but through the therapeutic process, she was able to reclaim her strength, build resiliency, create relationships that she was nourished by and live from a heart that was open instead of fearfully protected. This journey began with investing her time and resources in workshops, retreats and therapy in order to heal herself, rewire her reactivity, re-invent certain relationships, while letting go of others and comfortably stand in the ways she was different.

This process wasn’t easy or linear (and is always ongoing!), but eventually evolved into committing her life to the study and application of conflict resolution, therapy, transformation, communication and body-based mindfulness practices. Her personal and professional journey has led her to the knowing that she finds the most meaning and inspiration through collaborating with others who are looking for growth and change in their lives or relationships—people who no longer want to be held back from what the past, culture, or norms say should be, but instead want to live through their preferred expressions of self, relationship and reality.