Jessica Fern is the author of Polysecure. Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? In her book, Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide.
Jessica grew up in a neighborhood well acquainted with violence and a family considerably impacted by divorce, multi-generational trauma, substance abuse and interpersonal discord. The effects of these experiences were challenging for many years, but through the therapeutic process, she was able to reclaim her strength, build resiliency, create relationships that she was nourished by and live from a heart that was open instead of fearfully protected. This journey began with investing her time and resources in workshops, retreats and therapy in order to heal herself, rewire her reactivity, re-invent certain relationships, while letting go of others and comfortably stand in the ways she was different.
This process wasn’t easy or linear (and is always ongoing!), but eventually evolved into committing her life to the study and application of conflict resolution, therapy, transformation, communication and body-based mindfulness practices. Her personal and professional journey has led her to the knowing that she finds the most meaning and inspiration through collaborating with others who are looking for growth and change in their lives or relationships—people who no longer want to be held back from what the past, culture, or norms say should be, but instead want to live through their preferred expressions of self, relationship and reality.
Join Lea Aella as she co-facilitates a Q&A session with our expert guest Jessica Fern.
Aside from answering your biggest questions about polyamory, Lea will also ask:
- What are the main reasons Polyamorous relationships break up?
- What can people do better to go into poly relationships more consciously?
- What are the biggest mismatches in poly relationships?
- What are some of the ways poly breakups can be navigated more peacefully?
We know how incredibly difficult it can be to be in an intimate open relationship and how easy it is to get triggered, stuck in old patterns of relating, and caught in cycles of reactivity with the ones closest to us. However, the challenges and conflicts you face in your open relationships are also an amazing opportunity for connection, clarity and growth. Instead of difference and disagreements being a threat, they can become the path to deeper understanding, intimacy and respect.
If you are feeling stuck, confused, frustrated, or hopeless about your open relationship with a partner or loved one, this workshop will support you in experiencing new ways forward.
What to Bring
Your curiosity, something to write notes with (if you wish), and perhaps partners you may want to practice with in the future (if available).
Sign up for this workshop or join ALL our events FREE for 14 days with our VIP Trial of The Secure Poly Collective (more details below).
Video recordings will be available for viewing up to 14 days after the events go live.